Hotel Hell

I have lived and worked in Spain for the past 14 years, and have to admit that most of the package tour hotels on the Costa del Sol are fantastic. But not all of them!
Without mentioning names, I have had first-hand experience of two all –inclusive hotel packages which would make Colditz look attractive. Built high above the Mediterranean on a rocky outcrop on the Costa del Sol, one of these high-rise 'resort hotels' pulls in the punters by advertising free drinks from 11am to 11pm, and ´eat as much as you like buffets´ all day. The problem is the food sits out in the heat all day, uncovered, and attracts flies and other insects which swoop in through the open doors.

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One of the worse culprits when it comes to food poisoning is seafood and mayonnaise. Delicious when chilled and fresh, but lethal when warm and recycled. Many a fake ´sickie´ is thrown on a Monday morning in the UK, after workers claim to have eaten a ´bad prawn´, but believe me if they had eaten bad prawns, they would certainly know about it. A friend of mine from Liverpool came to visit last year and was hospitalised for three days after eating some dodgy seafood which had been served in a hotel restaurant. I spoke to her recently and asked, rather cruelly if she still ate seafood when she went out for dinner in Liverpool. ´There are no bloody mussels in the Mersey thank God´ she replied ´ I´m sticking to fish fingers from now on´.

As much as I love tapas and fresh fish at the beach bars in Southern Spain, always go for the busy restaurants which have a quick turnover of food, rather than some of the quieter bars where the food can be left in display cabinets for far too long at high temperatures.The ´Elf and Safety´ inspectors in England would have a field day on the old Costa del Sol. Not that I want to paint a bad picture of this little piece of paradise as there are some fabulous places to dine. But there are some bad ones too. Legs of uncovered Serrano ham is a common sight in most busy tapas bars, and call me a snob, but I always think there is something slightly off-putting about customers blowing smoke all over the ham before the next bit is served.

The smoking rules in public places in Spain are a bit baffling. In an establishment of under 100m2 it is up to the landlord if he allows customers to smoke or not. In a place over 100m2 there is no smoking allowed. It might have made more sense to have it the other way round but there you go. I am one of those annoying reformed smokers who moan when people blow it my way, but would have committed murder a few years ago if I couldn´t have a fag in the bar! Luckily we enjoy so much great weather that there are ample terraces attached to most bars where you can go and enjoy a smoke.

The pool area can always be fraught with danger – especially in the busier hotels where all-inclusive alcohol can result in all-inclusive idiots endangering the lives of the smaller kids round the pool. Luckily most hotel complexes have to employ lifeguards, and even security guards at some of the larger resort hotels to make sure everyone has fun in a safe environment.
Years ago it was almost impossible to claim for holiday illness or injury against tour operators, and cruise liners, but now you are far better looked after. Claims can be complex but if you seek the best legal advice to claim compensation for holiday illness or injury that wasn´t your fault, you are likely to succeed!